{"id":3073,"date":"2014-05-25T19:59:02","date_gmt":"2014-05-25T18:59:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/aniam.co.uk\/blog\/?p=3073"},"modified":"2014-05-28T22:05:36","modified_gmt":"2014-05-28T21:05:36","slug":"how-to-kill","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aniam.co.uk\/blog\/how-to-kill\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Kill…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"pint-m_1768033a\"…several hours without noticing in easy steps:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Wander\u00a0along early to the (very local) Fleet Food Festival<\/a> (just after\u00a011am)<\/li>\n
  2. Get a beer to drink while you walk around in the sunshine<\/li>\n
  3. Buy some foodie stuff<\/li>\n
  4. Take in an\u00a0interesting talk on Beekeeping<\/li>\n
  5. Find the local (Longdog*) brewery stall and repeat\u00a0step 2<\/li>\n
  6. Eat some pizza from the outdoor wood-fired oven<\/li>\n
  7. Go to the talk on Keeping Chickens<\/li>\n
  8. Repeat step 2<\/li>\n
  9. Go to a demo on making sushi and make some sushi (raw fish, naturally)<\/li>\n
  10. Eat the sushi and wait until your eyes stop watering from using too much\u00a0wasabi<\/li>\n
  11. Repeat\u00a0step 2<\/li>\n
  12. Try to get more pizza only to find they’ve sold out (at 1.30pm!).<\/li>\n
  13. Decide the queue for venison burgers is waaaaaay too long<\/li>\n
  14. Wander on.<\/li>\n
  15. Notice that the bread stall (who are at the Saturday market and always have plenty left at the end of the day) have sold out of almost everything except a few cakes. Buy cake for child with sweet tooth.<\/li>\n
  16. Go talk to the bee-keeper for a bit and fail to buy any local honey because they’ve sold out<\/li>\n
  17. Find another food queue that’s not too long in order to feed the child(ren)<\/li>\n
  18. Repeat\u00a0step 2<\/li>\n
  19. Wander around some more listening to the music<\/li>\n
  20. Have a Nepalese curry (and repeat step 2)<\/li>\n
  21. Hear the strains of Guns of Navarone (Ska-style)**<\/li>\n
  22. Bask in the admiration heaped on the dog (Who’s a pretty boy then!)<\/li>\n
  23. Go boogie to the excellent local Ska cover band (Key Lime Pi)<\/li>\n
  24. Buy ice cream for child (‘cos she’s your best mate, she is)<\/li>\n
  25. Repeat steps 2, 22 and 23\u00a0until the event closes.<\/li>\n
  26. Stagger home<\/li>\n
  27. Wonder where the time went<\/li>\n
  28. Fall asleep in the bath<\/li>\n
  29. Wake up, get out of the bath and blog about what a lovely day you’ve had<\/li>\n
  30. Vow to return next year \ud83d\ude00<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    <\/p>\n

    And there you have it. Simples!<\/p>\n

    *The Longdog in question being a Greyhound<\/i><\/p>\n

    **To get you in the right mood….<\/p>\n\n