To Whom It May Concern
Dear Jason,
Or should that be Andrew, or perhaps Johnny? I’m not entirely clear to whom I should address my response to your enquiry, as your email has come from Andrew, presumably on behalf of Jason, but you want me to reply to Johnny. I assume these are your brothers? Although, you do seem somewhat undecided as to whether your surname is Holtz, Holts or Holt. Perhaps you are just business partners with very similar surnames?
So, Jason, I see that you have sent out a mass mailing to a great many establishments of a similar nature, which explains the unspecific nature of your enquiry. I’m afraid this does nothing to engage my enthusiasm for doing business with you. It shows a lack of seriousness and commitment on your part. I mean, if you really want to do business with someone, it is best to have that personal touch, wouldn’t you say, Andrew?
So, Andrew, I see that you have contacted me from the Indonesian university of Taramunagara. Is this where your procurement department is based? Only it does seem rather a long way to go if you need to get the shop in Madrid open each morning. Or perhaps Johnny and Jason do that?
I’m quite impressed with the international nature of your business, though I would suggest that you supply an International Dialling Code with your phone number so that eager suppliers can seal the deal more quickly. I’m sure that you can Google the correct code for Spain if you’re not sure.
Unfortunately, I don’t accept Visa or Mastercard payments directly, so it is with great regret that I must decline to do business with your stunningly professional organisation. I do hope that your venture gets everything it deserves.
Sincerely,
A M Knott-Aneejit
20 May 2011
ROFL!!
I can’t really see what they hope to get from this email, other than knowing you are a live store, as all they’re asking for is to know if you accept credit card payments and whether you ship abroad. Seems pointless as well as daft, but maybe someone else can figure out how that info would help a scammer.
Ah, it opens the dialogue you see. After that they ask you to take a much larger payment and pay them back via Paypal or Bank Transfer some other method that allows them to get money out of you.
I got into such a dialogue a while back and it amused me for a while. The “customer” had no idea what they wanted in any detail (probably hadn’t even looked at my website) and only seemed interested in trying to get me to take a Credit Card payment and then transferring the difference to them. I played along (via email only) for a while to see what they’d come up with next, while I tracked their email address. When I got bored of playing, I asked them why they were claiming to be at a London address but emailing from an internet cafe in Nairobi (or somehwere like that) and told them to stop wasting my time. With hindsight, I should have offered to deliver the goods personally for cash payment just to see what they’d say LOL 😀
LOL – I would love if you actually sent this and an actual person read it 🙂
No, I didn’t. If I could be bothered wasting the time, I would 😀
*applause* well done Ania. These guys are right royal pains in the arse. I (like Viv) wish that you’d sent it to them!
Ali x
Maybe I should send it to the whole distribution list 😉